I originally started this blog when I started to lead worship... unfortunately, that gig didn't last more than 6 months. Afterwards, I went through a lot of spiritual ups and downs. It was a time of grieving and questioning; lots of things had happened and I couldn't make out why. But thankfully through that time, God really spoke to me about how to be real. I also went through a time where I had to repent. I had no idea how judgmental or arrogant a person I was. I thought I knew who God was, what church was supposed to be, and what worship ought to look like.
And that's when it got all black, just like in the last episode of The Sopranos.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Being The Church
But what does that mean?
I'm no theologian but these are some things God's been speaking to me about.
There's a difference between being A church and being THE Church. Our loyalty and sense of pride should come from who our King is (Jesus Christ) and not who our pastor (or worship leader or even congregation). Sure, we can be proud of our church but not at the expense of putting others or other churches down. Let's be THE Church and love one another.
Which brings me to love: Jesus says this is the greatest commandment to keep. Love your neighbors as you would love yourself (Matthew 22:39 but it comes up in several places). Being the church is simply loving others: the churched and unchurched.
**this is something i wrote almost 2 years ago and just decided to publish
I'm no theologian but these are some things God's been speaking to me about.
There's a difference between being A church and being THE Church. Our loyalty and sense of pride should come from who our King is (Jesus Christ) and not who our pastor (or worship leader or even congregation). Sure, we can be proud of our church but not at the expense of putting others or other churches down. Let's be THE Church and love one another.
Which brings me to love: Jesus says this is the greatest commandment to keep. Love your neighbors as you would love yourself (Matthew 22:39 but it comes up in several places). Being the church is simply loving others: the churched and unchurched.
**this is something i wrote almost 2 years ago and just decided to publish
Thank You Jesus for my Gift
Recently, God really spoke to me about "gifts".
I love serving on the Praise Team and had the greatest privilege of leading praise for the last several months. I used to think that I served because I had the talent (not a whole lot but enough) and that it was my duty, in a sense. Music has always had a soft place in my heart--a place where I felt God speak to me intimately and frequently. So I thought it was my responsibility to share this "gift" with my community, the church.
And then He corrected me.
Gifts and talents are not so much for us to parade around to glorify Him (because really, we can't sufficiently glorify God or even bring majesty to His Name). They are actually just gifts to us. Simply gifts. It's like God wanted to find a way to make me happy, a way for me to enjoy this life. And because He knows me, the real me, He knew that music and praise is what I would enjoy most in this world. So, before I was formed, He knew me and said, "ahh, for this child I will give the gift of music" and He wrapped it all up and placed it in my heart.
Sure, I can share it and I do feel the call to worship Him with music in a corporate setting. But it doesn't matter where or when I worship through music. It's my gift, my present--something for me to enjoy whenever I please.
That's what's real.
**this is something i wrote nearly 2.5 years ago but decided to "publish" today
I love serving on the Praise Team and had the greatest privilege of leading praise for the last several months. I used to think that I served because I had the talent (not a whole lot but enough) and that it was my duty, in a sense. Music has always had a soft place in my heart--a place where I felt God speak to me intimately and frequently. So I thought it was my responsibility to share this "gift" with my community, the church.
And then He corrected me.
Gifts and talents are not so much for us to parade around to glorify Him (because really, we can't sufficiently glorify God or even bring majesty to His Name). They are actually just gifts to us. Simply gifts. It's like God wanted to find a way to make me happy, a way for me to enjoy this life. And because He knows me, the real me, He knew that music and praise is what I would enjoy most in this world. So, before I was formed, He knew me and said, "ahh, for this child I will give the gift of music" and He wrapped it all up and placed it in my heart.
Sure, I can share it and I do feel the call to worship Him with music in a corporate setting. But it doesn't matter where or when I worship through music. It's my gift, my present--something for me to enjoy whenever I please.
That's what's real.
**this is something i wrote nearly 2.5 years ago but decided to "publish" today
Thursday, November 5, 2009
hillsong united: we're all in this together
last night, i went to go see their movie from the iheart revolution. as someone who loves music and loves to play worship music at church, i definitely appreciated the snips of live performances and new songs. but if you are just a hillsong united fan, you were sorely disappointed by the movie. because the move wasn't about them at all.
instead, it was about what worship ought to be outside of a sanctuary (or wherever you have worship services). if we proclaim to love song and want to really desire Him as we sing these songs but do nothing to take care of the marginalized, maybe we are missing the point. worship is not just music; it's so much bigger than just singing songs and clapping to a beat. worship is how we show the world that know who God is and that He is our God. Jesus prays toward the end of his life here that the world may know Him through the way we love one another. love is the root of christianity but it is also the key ingredient to sustain life. no one can live without love, just as one cannot live without food or water.
as the movie depicted the need for social justice worldwide. i felt that tug in my heart say, "here am i, send me". you see, i was a political science and women's studies major in college (GO BLUE!) because i saw the injustice in this world/nation but i didn't want to be limited by my anger of it. instead, i wanted to find ways to do something about the inequities real people face all the time. it's something that speaks very personally to me, something that gets my blood boiling, and out of this petite body of mine, comes a loud and commanding voice. and then it hit me: i was made for this.
i've had a few of those "i was made for this" moments recently. and this was just another light bulb going off in my head. God made my heart feel empathy for the helpless and needy, anger against injustice, and a need to reconcile the two.
i went with our worship team and some youth group members. i really pray that God spoke to some hearts last night the same way He spoke to mine.
Praise God for all He does
instead, it was about what worship ought to be outside of a sanctuary (or wherever you have worship services). if we proclaim to love song and want to really desire Him as we sing these songs but do nothing to take care of the marginalized, maybe we are missing the point. worship is not just music; it's so much bigger than just singing songs and clapping to a beat. worship is how we show the world that know who God is and that He is our God. Jesus prays toward the end of his life here that the world may know Him through the way we love one another. love is the root of christianity but it is also the key ingredient to sustain life. no one can live without love, just as one cannot live without food or water.
as the movie depicted the need for social justice worldwide. i felt that tug in my heart say, "here am i, send me". you see, i was a political science and women's studies major in college (GO BLUE!) because i saw the injustice in this world/nation but i didn't want to be limited by my anger of it. instead, i wanted to find ways to do something about the inequities real people face all the time. it's something that speaks very personally to me, something that gets my blood boiling, and out of this petite body of mine, comes a loud and commanding voice. and then it hit me: i was made for this.
i've had a few of those "i was made for this" moments recently. and this was just another light bulb going off in my head. God made my heart feel empathy for the helpless and needy, anger against injustice, and a need to reconcile the two.
i went with our worship team and some youth group members. i really pray that God spoke to some hearts last night the same way He spoke to mine.
Praise God for all He does
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